I don't know why, but I tend to be self-destructive. Not so much suicidal but I can be entering into a season of blessing and I'll do something totally stupid that seems to take all the joy out of what should be a great time.

Why?

I wish I knew. I've had some startling revelations from God. Not as in a new book of the Bible, but for me something outstanding that I've not seen before that has helped me see things differently. And I'm able to grow and be a better person, closer to God, more faith ... BUT THEN ...

I do something off the wall, even sinful. I don't want to. I didn't want to, but I did. Then I have to go through the whole cycle of pain, forgiveness, believing God for cleansing, etc. I would be so much easier if I just wouldn't do stuff in the first place.

So I'm pondering what to do about this.

Was this Paul's dilemma? I don't know. The debate rages on.

Romans 7:15-20 (ESV)
¹⁵  For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
¹⁶  Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.
¹⁷  So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
¹⁸  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
¹⁹  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
²⁰  Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 

Outreach Team Hobbs NM Church. My dad on the far right.

It's been several years since I posted anything and on a fluke I thought I'd see if this blog was still up. Surprise.
I will try to slowly catch up on things here and post my thoughts, sermon ideas, essays, and other things of interest.